Teen Esteem Council » confidence

Do Our Choices Now Effect Us Later?

summeramorris — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 20:48:57 +0000

Yes, of course they do, but that isn’t a bad thing. I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine who was just finishing another semester of college and she was debating what steps to take next. She had the opportunity to either go back to school in the fall or go to China and teach English for a semester. She was really hesitant which choice to choose for fear that one would effect the other and she couldn’t have both. She was worried that making one choice would effect her future so much that she felt paralyzed to make a decision at all.

We talked about how, like most decisions we make, we need to weigh out the options and potential consequences of each and then decide and not look back. I know her well enough that I knew if she didn’t take this opportunity to go to China now, she’d never have that opportunity again or she wouldn’t think she deserved to do that again. I also know that she would come back and continue with her education anyway so why not go? She has struggled with self-esteem issues for awhile yet she is completley amazing! She too, felt like that was a good choice for her but she was nervous to choose it and needed validation. I gave it to her

My thoughts: go with the choice that has the best consequences for you and others.

*Summer

Being Capable

summeramorris — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 16:13:28 +0000

I wanted to just share a quick thought with all of you. Lately, I’ve been able to do something that I have dreaded doing for months now. I’ve had to ask myself why I dreaded doing this certain thing – the reason was is that I didn’t really see myself capable of being able to do it.

I had to really think about myself and how I see ME. I’m sure you’ve all had moments where you didn’t see yourself capable of doing something – the reality is that 3 out of 4 people will quit and give up and the other 1 will never give up. Can you believe that? That us the reality of those who stick things out and those that don’t . Martin Seligman is a fabulous researcher and psychologist who came up with this statistic as he was working on a life satisfaction study. I find it pretty amazing. 3 out of 4 people give up on something or themselves.

I believe that the 1 who doesn’t give up, is the one who has a greater belief in themselves. I found this quote that I love by Mary Kay Ash. She said “Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” Once again, the power is within your mind: challenge yourself daily to believe in things you didn’t think you were capable of. I think you’ll be amazed!

*Summer

Teen Girls and How They Compare

Mat Edvik — Tue, 26 May 2009 13:10:57 +0000

Comparing is one of the most damaging things that teenage girls do to their self esteem. While there are numerous ways girls do this, there are two that stand out. Those two are comparing themselves to others and comparing themselves to the media’s standard of perfection. This post will offer some simple suggestions that can help teen girls overcome the struggles that comparing causes.

Teen Girls compare their ‘lack of talent’ to others ‘best’ talents
I have always wanted to be a singer. I would love to be on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans. I would love to be on stage in front of 15 people who just came to see me play my guitar and sing. However, a great singing voice is not something that I was blessed with. In fact, back in the day when I played in a band, i was pretty much not allowed to go near a microphone.

I have a good friend who is a very good singer. He plays gigs. He records his own music. He gets invited to sing a lot because he is very talented.

If I chose to define my self worth by comparing my singing talent to his, I would be in the dumps all the time. I would be basing my self worth and value on someone Else’s talents and unique ability. How crazy is that? It’s insane, but a lot of people, including teenage girls, do it.

Rather than compare myself to my singing friend, I should take a look at my own unique skills and abilities. i should make a list of things that I love to do, things that I know I do well, or things that other people have complimented me about. Then focus on those things. You should do the same. Find out what it is that you love and are good at, then to develop your skills in those areas.

Teen Girls compare themselves with media perfection
Walk into any grocery store or gas station and you will see loads of magazines with bikini clad women gracing the covers. Watch MTV or VH-1 and you see scantily clad women with great bodies either singing as the lead artist, or taking a back up role as a dancer. The media has flooded our society with images that are designed to attract attention and lead a person to buy merchandise.

As teen girls see the magazine covers and watch T.V. they are bombarded with images of ‘the perfect body’. Girls compare their imperfect bodies with the ones they are seeing on the magazine covers and it is damaging to their self esteem.

The Teen Esteem Council conducted a series of interviews to find out what the major problems that teenage girls face today. Body image was one of the main issues that continually came up. They often see boys looking at magazine covers or hearing boys talk about how ‘hot’ this model or that model is. The girls feel that they have to compete with that in order to get attention from boys.

Realize that your body is your body. Most parts of how you look are not going to change drastically. Also realize that your body is not you. There is so much more to you than just the package of skin and bones that the real you uses to get around.

What is most important is that you keep your body healthy. Make healthy choices in your eating habits. Exercise regularly. The formula is simple, but there is discipline required to carrying it out. You probably don’t have the time and money to hire a nutritionist and a personal trainer like the celebrities do. You also probably don’t have the access to the computer software that can take away many of the blemishes that those celebrities still have. So keep your body healthy and in shape and the comfort level of your appearance will increase.

Everyone compares. It is part of our human nature. Teenage girls compare themselves in a myriad of ways. This article has discussed only two of them. Hopefully the suggestions given can benefit you if this is something that you are struggling with.

If You Want More Self Esteem, Stop Comparing!

Mat Edvik — Sat, 23 May 2009 13:08:01 +0000

Comparing ourselves to others is one of the most damaging things that we can do for our self esteem. In this podcast Mat and Summer talk about how we all do this and how we can stop doing it.

How To Find A Job In Today’s Economy Part 2

Mat Edvik — Sat, 02 May 2009 14:44:02 +0000

We want to thank everyone for listening in the month of April. The response to our podcasthas been terrific. We hope that the ideas that we are sharing with you are making a positive difference in your life.

Last week Mat and Summer discussed a unique way to think about looking for a job. This week they provide very practical advice that you can use in your search for employment.

The Garden of Your Mind

Mat Edvik — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:23:08 +0000

In this episode Mat and Summer discuss the ways your mind is like a garden. If you plant what you want in a garden and if you take care of that garden, it will produce the fruits, vegitables, or flowers that you desire. But if you don’t take care of the garden it will produce weeds and useless plants. Our minds are the same. We can choose what to plant in the garden of our minds, and what we plant there will manifest itslef into our reality.

The Media’s Map

Mat Edvik — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:39:46 +0000

In this podcast episode Mat and Summer discuss the streets that you will find along the route that media would like you to take to find happiness and self esteem. That route does not lead to happiness however. Listen to find out more about the route to true happiness and self esteem.

Maps, Worldviews, and Happiness

Mat Edvik — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 15:04:21 +0000

The podcast is up and running! Join us every week as we discuss ways to help teenage girls increase their self esteem and their happiness. These podcasts will be brief and full of valuable information

In our first podcast we discuss the way we see the world and how they influence our decision making. They also discuss how maps relate to finding happiness and self esteem in life.

Click on the link below to listen to the podcast.

Arrogant or Assertive?

summeramorris — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:26:30 +0000

Sometimes I think we confuse being arrogant or being cocky with being assertive and self-confident. I wanted to just share a quick thought about the difference today. Being arrogant or cocky is often described as conceited or prideful. We can often tell when we are around these kind of people right? They are often really hard to be friends with because they are often bragging or telling how great they are. However, being assertive and self-confident means just that – confident and willing to try. These kind of people make you feel good about yourself when you are around them. They often come across as caring and compassionate. They can be very opinionated and sure of how they feel and think about things.

I would love to challenge all of us to see the difference between these two ways of being. Otherwise, what I think happens is that we see people as arrogant when they might just be assertive. Think about it….

*Summer

Mirror, mirror on the wall

summeramorris — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:07:03 +0000

How many of us wake up and look in the mirror and see yourself for who we are versus what we see. Sometimes doing this over and over again creates a belief system about yourself that can end up being really negative. If you have practiced for weeks, months or even years seeing yourself as ugly, fat, unloveable, dumb, or even not enough, you have been practicing something that isn’t entirely true.

I heard a quote that I love that describes this a bit, it says, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got” (Peter Francisco). Meaning, that if you keep practicing this negative way, you will keep getting those same thoughts in your head. However, if you can practice seeing yourself differently (even if you don’t believe it at first), you might get a different outcome.

Stop doing what you’ve always done and maybe you’ll get something different in return. You might even start seeing yourself as better than you think!

*Summer