In our last podcast we discussed how amazing our world is. We talked about some of the incredible technology that makes our lives easier and more enjoyable. I can honestly say that I would not choose another time in history to be alive.  Seriously! Summer is coming upon us and in many parts of the country that means HEAT! How did people live without air conditioning. I am so grateful that someone had the idea that they could create an air conditioner.

Anyway, the point that I am trying to make is that just as we enjoy the fruit that grows from a tree, we enjoy the fruits of other peoples ideas. And just as we would not have any fruit from the tree if someone had not planted the seed, we would not havve any of these great things that make our life easier if someone had not planted and nurtured the thought that led to it’s creation.

Thoughts truly are the seed of great ideas.

So what do you spend your time thinking about? Are your thoughts getting you closer to self esteem and happiness? Are your thoughts keeping you stuck in mediocrity?

Pay attention to your thoughts, they manifest into your life.

If you want the relationship to go somewhere then do the opposite. Once you are to a stage past intially getting to know each other you need to limit your availabilty. Have you noticed that those that you don’t really like keep coming back, but that sometimes the ones you do like lose interest? It could be because you are too available to them.

This piggy backs on the last post that I made. If you are working on your own hobbies and interests this will be less of a technique that you use and more of the natural progression of your personal development. As you are less available because you are working on your own passions the guys you like will be more attracted to you because you are not consistently available.

David J. Leieberman wrote a book a few years ago called Get Anyone to do Anything. Within his book he made this point in a chapter called Get The Instant Advantage in Every Relationship. He stated,

“You should find meaning in your life outside the relationship so this person doens’t become your whole world.”

People are attracted to others that have something else going on in their lives. If you want to become attractive to others, start working on developing a skill that you are passionate about. And be willing to tell someone that you “like”, “I can’t spend time with you tonight because I am doing                           .” They will be more attracted to you because this exhibits balance in your life.

The lyrics to this song are pretty heavy, but the message is incredible. Sometimes we are unaware of the impact that our words can have on others. Even words that are said during seemingly meaningless conversations can affect peoples lives in a major way.

The direction of my own life, on a more positive note, was changed by an offhand comment by a friend. I had made up my mind to follow a career path that would not have been something that I loved, or something that was challenging to me. I had a pretty low opinion of myself and my capabilities to accomplish anything remarkable. I was talking to this friend and she said, “Mat, I just think you are too smart to do that.”  She probably has not thought of that conversation since. I have thought of it many times as that one comment gave me the confidence to do something that I truly love and to accomplish big goals in my life. That was over 10 years ago and I still think about that night. It is one of the pivotal moments that changed the direction of my life.

Words are unbelievably powerful. Powerful enough to build others up or destroy them. Let us choose to be one who builds others.

“I used to think, ‘I’ll take care of you and you take care of me’. But now I think, ‘I’ll take care of me for you if you take care of you for me.’

There are many times in our lives where we lose ourselves in the emotions of being in a relationship with someone. Many girls derive almost all of their self worth, or lack of it, from having or not having a boyfriend. And if having a boyfriend isn’t important then getting attention from boys is where much of their self esteem comes from. Sometimes you can lose yourself and your values as you pursue happiness from a relationship. “I’ll take care of you” becomes ”I’ll do anything to still have you in my life”. Giving up your values for the temporary satisfaction of attention or an unhealthy relationship erodes your self esteem. There is a moment of satisfaction but long term self esteem, happiness, and attractiveness can’t be acheived this way. Those things are fostered in “taking care of yourself”.

When you develop yourself and your uniqe talents and abilities. When you live by the values that you know in your heart to be true and right. When you set high standards for yourself and exercise self discipline in living them. When you do those things… Then you truly have something to give in a relationship. Then you have something to give to the world. Then you will attract the type of people that you truly want to be part of your life. They will be attracted to you because peace and self esteem will radiate from within you.