Complaining Vs. Gratitude or The Story of Reginald, the Kings Most Trusted Advisor
Just as darkness and light cannot occupy the same space in nature, neither can complaining and gratitude occupy the same space in you. While you are complaining all of your focus is on what is negative about your life. While you are expressing sincere gratitude your focus, for that moment, is on the positive in your life. Because individuals bring into their lives more of what we put our attention and focus on, you would think that most people would choose to express gratitude more often than complaining. In many cases however that is not the case.
Why do we complain
People complain because they want something in their life to change. For all of us there is a gap between how life is and how we want life to be. So, we tell people about it. Most times however, complaining does not solve the problem or create change for the complainer. In fact, often it brings more stuff into their life to complain about.
Gratitude, The Remedy for Complaining
When you are complaining you are focusing on what is going badly in the present moment. It is important to look at the big picture and realize that what is happening in the present moment is not going to last forever. The hard times will pass, and it has been my experience that the hard times are often the times in my life that I have grown the most. They are the times that in hind sight I am actually most grateful for.
I recently heard a story that teaches this principle. I do not remember the names in the story, now do I remember the author of the story… so if you recognize this story and have that info… let me know so I can give them credit for it. Anyway the story goes like this.
The Story of Reginald, the Kings Most Trusted Advisor
There was a king who had a great adviser. The adviser’s name was Reginald. Reginald was the king’s favorite adviser and all of his other advisers were jealous of him. Reginald had one bit of advice that he would always give the king. Whatever was going on he would say to the king, “Everything is happening exactly as it should be.” The king loved this. Until one day.
The king was working in his shop and ended up getting a massive cut on his arm. He was in terrible pain and was bleeding a lot. He told his servants to go ask Reginald what his advice was. Reginald told the servants that everything was happening exactly as it should be. The king was furious when he heard that and he had Reginald thrown into the dungeon.
The servants dressed the kings wound and he decided that he needed to cool off so he went on a hunting trip. While on this hunting trip he was captured by a group of uncivilized natives. They had no idea that he was the king. They did not care who he was and had o idea what he was talking about when he told them how powerful he was. They did not recognize his authority. To them he was just any other person.
It was time for this native tribe’s annual human sacrifice, and they were planning on sacrificing the king. However, when they were preparing the king for the sacrifice they noticed that he had a cut on his arm. They could not sacrifice him because the sacrifice had to be an unblemished sacrifice. So they let him go.
As he was walking back to his kingdom he kept thinking about how Reginald had been right. The cut on his arm had saved his life. He understood how it was actually a good thing that the cut had happened. There was just one thing that he could not figure out. When he arrived back at the kingdom he asked Reginald about it.
“I understand how my getting cut on the arm was supposed to happen,” he said, after explaining what had happened “But how was me throwing you in dungeon supposed to be what happened.”
Reginald smiled as he saw the wisdom in what had unfolded. “If you had not thrown me in the dungeon,” he said “I would probably have been on the hunting trip with you and also would have been captured. And I don’t have any cuts on my body.”
The moral of the story
Sometimes you might find yourself complaining about something in your life that you would want to be different. Especially as a teenager and it is hard to see how that situation could turn out to be positive in the future. If you can choose to find things to be grateful for, even in the hard moments, you will attract more good into your life. You will bring more in your life to be grateful for.
One trick that I have used to find something to be grateful for every day is a gratitude list. Everyday in my journal I write 5 things that I was grateful for that day. Then at the end of the week I review my lists and pick out the top 5 things that I was grateful for that week. Then I do the same at the end of the month, reviewing the top 5 of each week. At the end of the month I am reviewing 20 amazing things that happened to me that that month. Looking over those things provides a lot of power and satisfaction for me in my life. I would love for you to try it and let us know how it is working for you.
